Since last week’s tragedy in Newtown, it's been harder to let the kids
out of the house.
The
instinct is to keep them under lock and key, but
every morning we have to open the door and let them go. To the movies, to the mall, to walk to the bus stop in the
dark.
Like many parents, I’m trying to wrap my head
around this and figure out how it will impact my family.
At this age, it is less about trying to shield them from
the news. It’s mostly about answering
questions like “Why don’t they want to say the killer’s name?” "Why did that mom have a gun?" “Would you ever get a gun?”
"Did he know any of those kids?"
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These are the darkest days of the year, and this year sad circumstances have accumulated around me to make the days seem even darker than usual.
Long ago, the
ancients thought the sun was leaving them, getting farther and farther
away.
Each year they feared that it would never
return.
It’s no coincidence that
Christmas falls during the time when the ancients realized the sun was coming
back.
Winter Solstice -
the day before the light starts to
return.
Right now we are waiting, lighting the Hannukah and Advent candles.
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We spend so much time trying to teach our children that violence is wrong -- that
loving each other is the reason we’re all here on this earth together.
We want them to know that love is our
highest purpose.
That to feel
it is a blessing, and to express it is a
gift, not to be taken for granted. Yes, we can teach them
to accept that some people have disabilities that make it hard to cultivate love, or express it.
Acting out in anger is something we struggle with daily as a family. But it’s impossible to
explain how someone could face a blackness as dark as what
prompted last week’s horror.
Have you ever heard the saying that a broken heart is an open
heart? Right now it feels like the
country is joining hands, praying for
the love in our hearts to pass from one hand to the next. I’m hopeful that those grieving
find their way out of the darkness and are touched by returning light and love
in the coming weeks.
4 comments:
it isn't video games, which the FR is picking up and running with. It's semiautomatic weapons, it's gun shows, it's this crazy notion that we're all "entitled" to carry a weapon. Not to mention the need for much more access to health care, mental and otherwise. But you already knew all this.
anyway, it's a leap of faith just to leave the house every day, isn't it, not matter what?
Jen,
Your words were beautiful. Though they put tears in my eyes, you summed up the feelings most of us have this Christmas beautifully.
Here are the words of a hymn we sang in church this last Sunday that are giving me some comfort.
Like A Shepard
Like a shepherd He feeds His flock and carries the lambs in His arms, holding them carefully next to His heart, bringing them home.
I love you,
Auntie
Thanks, Beth -- absolutely! There was an opinion piece today in the NYTimes about how the NRA bullies the Republican legislators into supporting them. It is just sick.
Dar, that is a comforting verse. Thanks for sharing it.
Beautifully said. It's such a painful time. Blog posts like yours can be a release, and a communal place to grieve.
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