Something Ate the Broccoli (An Homage to Shel Silverstein)

Something ate the broccoli.
It’s rather sad to say.
Something ate the broccoli.
It started in mid-May.
We’ll never see her flowery head
Emerging from the compost bed.
I want those bugs not gone - but dead.
Something ate my broccoli.

Something ate the broccoli
Every single leaf.
They didn’t touch the soybeans,
I guess they weren’t so sweet.

We’ll never have it tossed into
A pasta salad or hearty stew .
They got zucchini blossoms, too.
Something ate the broccoli.

Something ate the broccoli.
It is absolutely clear
Something ate the broccoli
I’ll catch those slugs with beer!
It was a heartless thing to do
They leave a trail of sticky glue.
I simply can’t imagine who
Would go and (swat!) eat the broccoli.

The above poem was adapted from Shel Silverstein’s “Someone Ate the Baby." I assumed the poem could be found in either A Light in the Attic or Where the Sidewalk Ends, but it's not included in either book. That means I probably heard it on the radio. Did you ever listen to the Dr. Demento Show? Here’s a clip from the show featuring Shel himself reading the poem.