On Mindfulness and Gratitude

"God is that personal journey we all want to be on -- to feel like we're connected to a universe that celebrates life."

"Nature's beatuty is a gift that cultivates appreciation and gratitude."

"If you do nothing else, at least respond to today's gift as if it were the first day of your life and the last day."

"Let it flow through you so that everyone you meet on this day will be blessed by you -- by your eyes, your smile, your presence."


Happy Thanksgiving to all!  And thanks to my friends Debbie, Amanda and Kathy who shared this video with me.

Cooking Like Paula Deen

Banoffee Pie

Come to think of it, I haven’t seen her cooking show too many times.  I must do a lot of Paula-Deen-style cooking, though, because whenever I’m looking for a recipe via Google, hers often pop up.  A few weeks ago, I wanted a recipe for Banoffee Pie, a banana pie made with whipped cream and carmelized milk.  Hers came up.  Then I looked for Shrimp Etouffee – and hers came up, too.  Neither of these recipes called for butter, the ingredient that has given her such notoriety.  (And enough about the butter -- have you read Ina Garten’s recipes lately?  Talk about heavy cream!)

Paula Deen

I loved Paula’s gracious and humorous response to the recent criticism from Anthony Bourdain that she is the "most dangerous person in America" and I LOVE the fact that Maxim readers have voted her TV’s hottest female chef (but shame on them for using a photo of a stick of better, rather than one of Paula, to illustrate their article!)   

What I love most about Paula Deen, though, is her story, which she told at a recent live event.   Most would never guess that she had to overcome severe agoraphobia  (“I ended up having to cancel my children’s activities because I couldn’t leave the house.”) and hypochondria (“It got to where I couldn’t even watch Dr. Welby MD.  I started thinkin I had everything they were talkin about.”)  Paula’s parents died when she was a young mother, and she was tasked with raising her younger siblings as well as her own brood, with a husband “who really liked lots of cold beer.”   She credits the Serenity Prayer with helping her stay grounded and on track.   Back then, she was afraid that her friends would see her mopping floors at the grocery store. I wonder what those same friends think of her now. 



Shrimp Etouffee



Growing up in Florida and living in Louisiana for a few years don’t quite make me a Southerner, but I have eaten and appreciate a good gumbo -- so I was happy to see that there is a recipe for it in her new cookbook, Paula Deen’s Southern Cooking Bible, along with lots of other dishes that I think will feel very at home on my table.

I don’t even think Paula expects me to feed my family from this book every day, but when I have time for something more than a quick weeknight dinner, when I need a dish with special comforting skills, or something to remind me of warm gulf coast breezes, I’ll be reaching for this book -- co-written with Melissa Clark.

So what do you think of Paula? 

Battle Hymn of the Race to Nowhere

At a screening last night of the documentary film “Race to Nowhere,” another mother and I were marvelling at the fact that we were seeing the film at the same time that “The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” is getting so much publicity.   They represent such very different perspectives on parenting.  Why, we wondered, is this happening now?   If popular philosphies on parenting swing from permissive to strict and back to permissive again, where are we, as a culture, right now?  And what does this mean for our kids?   While “The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” describes a punitive and restrictive Chinese parenting style that is designed to prepare children to compete in the global economy, “Race to Nowhere,” shows the toll that insisting on high achievement is taking on kids around the country, from every economic background.   

I was familiar with some of the issues addressed by Race to Nowhere from having read a couple of Alfie Kohn’s books, such as "The Homework Myth." He’s been talking about these issues for over 10 years now, warning that practices like assigning hours of homework, awarding teachers merit pay, closing down struggling schools, advocating charter schools and promoting high stakes testing are all counterproductive.

Here are some of the most impressive findings from Challenge Success.

In a national survey, students were asked to use 3 words to describe how they felt in school. The word most often used by students was “bored” followed by “tired.”

Time kids spend doing homework has increased 51% since 1981.

Harris Cooper reviewed research on homework, which showed almost no correlation between homework and achievement for elementary school students. There was a 0.7 correlation for middle school students for the first 60 minutes; if middle school students did more than that, he found little or no correlation.

According to a study of children at more than 60 schools, by the end of 4th grade, those kids who had attended academically oriented preschools earned significantly lower grades than did those who had attended more progressive, “child-initiated” preschool classes, where the emphasis was on play.

In Finland, kids begin formal school at age 7. While initially behind, by age 15, Finnish students outperform students from every nation in reading skills. Finnish students are also among the highest scorers in math and science literacy.

According to a large study done by the University of Michigan, family meals are the single strongest predictor of better achievement scores and fewer behavioral problems for children ages 3-12.

Kids today have 12 hours less free time each week than they did in 1981.

Studies have shown, that sleep deprivation is associated with memory deficits, impaired performance and alertness, and delayed responses, yet school starting times get earlier and earlier. 

Some of my friends are very concerned about the number of AP classes on their kids’ transcripts.  They’re wondering what it means for their kids’ college applications.  They’re worried about whether they will get into the top NYC public schools,  whether they’ll get recruited for a “travel” team, place in their gymnastics meet, or get the lead in the school play.   I have my own anxieties and worries and hopes for my kids.  What I really hope, though, is that all parents, teachers, administrators, and medical professionals will see “Race to Nowhere."   It’s made me feel a little better about things.  Maybe if we don’t push our kids, if we give them more free time and less pressure -- even if these things don’t happen, it will be okay.  We might even all be happier.  It will be okay.  It really will.  

A Tony Curtis Story

Have you ever heard it said that a true friend is someone you can sit with in silence and not feel the need to fill up the empty space with chatter? 

Not long ago Tony Curtis appeared at the community center where I work.  I had the honor of greeting him and escorting him backstage to the green room, where he was reunited with several old friends, fellow veterans of television’s Golden Age.  After the hugs and handshakes, they sat down to what I assumed would be a conversation of excited exchanges and interruptions.   Instead they spent a few minutes just smiling at one another, simply enjoying each other's presence.   After a short silence, Tony said  “See?  Here we are old friends, sitting together in silence.  Loving the fact that we’re lucky enough to still be able to see each other…. When you meet strangers, they go on and on….”

That is not to say that he didn’t enjoy his fans.  After the program, he proceeded to his booksigning, where he spent over an hour greeting a long line of admirers, reminiscing about old times, and signing autographs.  As he left, a crowd approached him on the street and he spent another 20 minutes talking with them before getting in his car.  He was a class act – one of the last true Hollywood gents.

I know you're up there somewhere enjoying some joyful -- and peaceful -- reunions, Tony.

Here's a link to Leonard Lopate's interview on WNYC a couple of years ago.

In Memory of Howard Zinn

(photo by Joyce Culver)

Howard Zinn, author of The People's History of the United States was an extraordinary man who changed the way we look at history and spoke for the people who couldn't.  I had the honor of meeting him several times when he spoke at the 92nd St. Y.  Most recently, when my colleagues and I produced "Voices of a Young People's History of the United States," hosting actors who brought the words of some often-forgotten historical figures to life on stage.  You can hear his intro to the evening by clicking on the top photo of my sidebar.  The Y, in fact, hosted the first of over 60 performances of A People’s History of the United States in 2003- that performance featured Alice Walker, James Earl Jones, Marisa Tomei, Kurt Vonnegut, Danny Glover and many others and can be seen here.   Below, I've compiled a few favorite quotes.

The memory of oppressed people is one thing that cannot be taken away, and for such people, with such memories, revolt is always an inch below the surface.

We need to decide that we will not go to war, whatever reason is conjured up by the politicians or the media, because war in our time is always indiscriminate, a war against innocents, a war against children.

Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.

 Historically, the most terrible things - war, genocide, and slavery - have resulted not from disobedience, but from obedience.

What matters most is not who is sitting in the White House, but "who is sitting in" -- and who is marching outside the White House, pushing for change.

If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

Starry Eyed Resolution

This time of year, there are lots of “the year’s 10 best” articles published everywhere. One of those I just read is about the years worst ads, so of course I started thinking about my very favorite ads and why to be like the woman in this ad is my New Year’s Resolution. If you watch “American Idol” you have probaby seen this ad a gazillion times. I have too, and I think I could watch it a gazillion more.





I mean, can you blame me?

Long, blond straight hair.

Slim.  And braless. 

Can not only remain upright, but dance on skates to groovy music.

On the beach!

With a special guy who will not only get up on skates but will twirl her around on them.

All food provided by snack bar. (If in doubt, just look for the FOOD sign.)

Virtuously drinking diet coke without gagging.

The sky “sparkles” and swirls but nothing creepy or scary happens.

I mean, this is THE LIFE.

Okay, I guess I should come up with a few that are more realistic. Does writing down your resolutions make them stickier? I’ll have to check with the Proud Procrastinator about that.

Here’s a start:

Keep my desk and email box cleaner.

Find a dance class at a convenient time and go to it regularly.

Take vitamins and eat less meat and more veggies (homegrown whenever possible). There are more garden resolutions but that's another post for another day.

Express more appreciation toward those I love.

Be grateful for my many blessings, even though they are so very far removed from those of that girl on rollerskates.

A Happy 2010 to all!

(and best of luck with your resolutions!)

Why I'm Tweaking Mad at "Glee"

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how much I love the TV show Glee, but the episode I saw last night on Hulu deflated my infatuation. In an effort to spur the Glee Club on to winning their sectionals competition, the crazy school nurse dispenses psuedoephedrine decongestants to each member of the club, resulting in shiny, happy, overenergetic and of course, terrific performances - with very lame consequences. Do they not know who their audience is? What could be more appealing to a listless exhausted teenager?

Surely they’re aware that psuedoephedrine is regulated now in many states because it can be made into crystal meth? And that crystal meth addiction is an epidemic? I imagine the pharmaceutical companies that manuafacture these over-the-counter drugs are absolutely delighted. They're sure to sell more of it and have even more money for hiring expensive lobbyists to deter Congress from passing any legislation that would hurt the psuedoephedrine (and consequently, meth) industries.

I should reveal that I myself am a psuedoephedrine user. I have it in my medicine cabinet right now – it’s part of my winter cold, asthma and allergy desperation arsenal. When I buy it I have to sign a log book with my name and address, and show ID, but it is, as a rule, not that hard to get – and neither are directions for how tinker with it to make meth. Honestly, I’m surprised that the stuff is still available over the counter considering how quickly they whisked ephedra dietary supplements and Ma huang tea, which contain the same active ingredients, off the market because of their propensity to cause irregular heartbeat, seizures, and stroke. It was finally taken out of children’s cold medicines after 54 deaths.

One hundred and fifty thousand people seek treatment for crystal meth addiction each year – it’s currently the one of the most popular, dangerous and addictive street drugs out there. It’s also available and cheap. Maybe I'm extra-sensitive now because I’m reading a heartbreaking book, Beautiful Boy by David Sheff, about how meth addiction affected one California family. I wouldn't leap to the conclusion that the use of psuedephedrine makes crystal meth use more attractive, but why take that risk with our teenagers? We have enough problems with this drug without Glee irresponsibly stoking the fire.

It's Official: We're Gleeks

Why? Football players dancing to "All the Single Ladies." Matthew Morrison (we LOVE him!) A gay character came out to his father in the fourth episode. It allows me to re-live my former high school drama thespian competion years. It prompts me to have discussions with my daughter about how likely it is to get pregnant when making out in a hot tub (well maybe that's a not-so-fun part). Kristen Chenoweth next week!

Anybody else watching?